Monday, March 14, 2011

Defusing anger in a relationship

AS A RELATIONSHIP GROWS, U HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO DEFUSE AN ARGUMENT RATHER THAN FUEL IT, AND THIS IS SOMETHING 98% OF PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO DO. INCLUDING MYSELF, A MANS WAY OF DEFUSING IS WALKING AWAY, BUT THAT FUELS A WOMANS AND HER LOUD MOUTH OR ATTITUDE FUELS HIS , SO HOW CAN WE LEARN TO DEFUSE ARE PARTNERS ANGER??? ANY ADVICE?
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3 comments:

  1. Luckie CharmMarch 14, 2011 at 9:51 AM

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  2. Luckie CharmMarch 14, 2011 at 9:54 AM

    comment by Joshua Thomas: My girlfriend and I had a similar discussion recently and my way of dealing with AKA defusing an escalating situation, is reminding myself of all that my loved one encompasses while we are at odds. Focusing only on the THING that is pissing you off will merely sabotage your thinking that will fuel you to act unlovingly to one you "say" you love. When you weigh yourself on a scale it's not one body part at the time, you weigh the entire body for the most accurate measurement! So give your loved one the same consideration! Don't "measure them by the moment" Remember why you love them, not why you're pissed at them presently. And this in my opinion and upon personal retrospection allows for timely diffusion of negative emotion.

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  3. Luckie CharmMarch 14, 2011 at 10:03 AM

    posted by Michelle C Sampy Great question Shawn! I can honestly say that one of the biggest problems in relationships is that people don't understand how different men and women are when it comes to this issue. YES, communication is important, but I have to agree with Shawn that everyone has their own definition of how it should be done. Anyway, remember that over 90% of communication is non-verbal and most women tend to wear their emotions on their face so a man can tell what her mood is. However, most men share the same emotions meaning that their deep thinking face can be the same as their mad face, so don't assume that by him walking away means he is ignoring the situation. This only means he is dealing with it his way, as you deal with it your way, so if walking away helps, LET HIM! I am learning that everyday! One argument should not question all the good! If it does, that is a whole new issue if it really is TRUE LOVE! We all deal with our emotions differently and we shud not push the way we feel an argument should be handed on the other person! All I can say is that if he walks away and you follow still fussing, be prepared for what comes next! Most people ask for honestly, but really don't want to hear it!

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