Defusing anger in a relationship

AS A RELATIONSHIP GROWS, U HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO DEFUSE AN ARGUMENT RATHER THAN FUEL IT, AND THIS IS SOMETHING 98% OF PEOPLE DONT KNOW HOW TO DO. INCLUDING MYSELF, A MANS WAY OF DEFUSING IS WALKING AWAY, BUT THAT FUELS A WOMANS AND HER LOUD MOUTH OR ATTITUDE FUELS HIS , SO HOW CAN WE LEARN TO DEFUSE ARE PARTNERS ANGER??? ANY ADVICE?